“Maybe one day I’ll look at the shore and everything will be alright.”
Days these days go so fast yet so slow. I am scared, my heart pounds so loud sometimes that I can hear it in my ears even while the noise outside is unbearable.
I got a new job. A new role. Something I have never done before. It’s nerve wreaking. I don’t know how long I would be able to last. But I would like to last in it until few years.
Someone dear has left to a different country and someone special who had been lost has come into my life again. It’s a mixed feeling but it makes me feel more happy.
Now that I have more special hearts in my one small sad heart. I feel strong again.
Things have started changing rapidly. And I’m seeing it every single day and it just makes me want it more.
I had less suicidal thoughts, But sometimes I do feel in the dark hole. But I guess, I’m getting better in climbing out of it.
One step at a time. Sometimes I think life is only justified if you live under your own control but emotional attachment makes us bend rules for others.
I hope the life I have planned for the next years goes smoothly without any shocks. I would welcome surprises.
I want to fall in love again. Not get scared of it. Like I was all these years. One person can change you, make you doubt your life, your happiness but why does that one person has the right to do that? You can control your own life, right? Maybe now I’ll not let that one person change the good things in me. Maybe now I’ll just be.
One day at time.
Midnight Scars 