Hope

I sit here alone.

Silence is comforting.

Yet surprising.

There are very few who think about you

Be careful

For the likes keep changing

One day you think you have this

You will never want to throw it away

You will never realise

When it’s you who is thrown away.

So keep your heart beating

For something better

And beautiful

Hope.

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Hello world.

Hello world. Today I have no imaginary stories to say to you. I have some random stuff to talk about and I have no one to talk to. So…

I have 11 followers which includes two of my friends and others bloggers I follow back. I started off with one follower, my best friend. I wrote to just please myself and ask her about the review. I remember she said wow to one of my stories – Evil. I was overwhelmed.

Does writing your feelings make you feel better? Yes surely it does. Just like you speak to someone when you are lowest and disappointed. It surely makes you feel better.

Today when I speak, I speak with a bit of experience and a little knowledge. It’s not even 10% but maybe 1%. I’m not smart. But I am a learner. I like to understand and learn. Also I make mistakes. Lots of them. I have a slow mind. But I do learn from them and not repeat twice.

I forgive and forget. I value relationships. I don’t give up. I love those special ones forever. I have no ego but yes I do have self respect. I love love. I love people. I think that inspite of people being mean sometimes, they do have a good heart. I believe that world will head a better future if we be kind to one another.

I love my family and friends. I have four close friends. They are my college buds. Shweta, Andriya, Shalom and me. We were the closest. I also have a few good friends from school, college, my work, etc. My best friend is named Aditya. She is quite cool. You should check out her blog – A voice of smile. A real fresh breather in a stressful world. I am currently seeing someone, his name is Tejas. He is cool too. Sometimes too cool. A very logical and practical guy. Not very romantic and emotional but quite funny and a good person. I used to love him. He doesn’t like seriousness so I had to let it go. Now I just like him the way he likes me. It was hard and brutal but it was either him or love. And I chose him.

I don’t care about the future nor the past anymore. It keeps me sane. Sane to think correctly and not over think and make up stuff in my mind.

I gave my unconditional love to my parents. And I received even more. I was happy to get something same in return. I often misunderstood them. I was wrong. We should value the ones who value us. So that you don’t get hurt. I have learned so much. I have started thinking more practically and logically. Makes me think peacefully.

I love art. I paint. I sketch. I read books. I write. I see good movies. I like cooking. I clean a lot. I also eat a lot.

I work in an investment banking firm as an analyst. It’s okay. Pays the bills. I am going to finish my post grad in a few weeks. I will be starting my preparation for my masters in a few days. Going to get fitter in a few months. My goal on priority.

So yeah. That’s me. Quite a handful. But yea that’s me.

Take it easy.

Hello world !!

Todays story from my imaginary mind. Hope you like it!

How long as it been ? I said eating my favourite cuisine while looking out of the window in the most finest restaurant.

For what ? He asked me back. Looking at his food.

Meeting. How long as it been that we have meet ? I asked looking at him

A year…i guess. He said

Wow. We have been together for more than that ? I asked with a surprise look.

Two years. He said with a straight face.

Wow. Two years… Oh man. I didn’t even know. I said.

Yea…why? He asked

Nothing. I thought of being really stable now. And here I am having a casual relationship with you.. For almost 2 years.. Still gotta do so much. I said.

So ? He said without being effected.

I have been so happy. Not thinking about the past nor the future. That i didn’t realise that it been 2years. I said.

You have a problem with that ? He said

Not at all.. Just taken back. Because I think its happened so fast. I said

No it didn’t. You know why it felt that way ? Because you just lived the present and didn’t bother about all that non sense. He said looking at me.

Yea… Cheers to the next more present years. I said lifting my wine glass.

Cheers. He said with a smile.

Take it easy. Live the present. Live. Laugh. Love.

Present

Hello world..!! This is from my imaginary world.

Do you know that I like you ? I said looking straight in his eyes.

I know. He said looking at me. With his arms surrounded me, sitting in the car.

We did so many mistakes. Our bond wasn’t strong. I did so many mistakes. If our bond was strong we wouldn’t have lost each other. I said looking at him. Palming his face.

Hmm. He nodded

You know I have always been so worried and stressed about the future. And after that about the past. I never enjoyed the present. Now I don’t give a fuck about the past and the future.. I am just living the present. I have started to let go things that aren’t in my control. And it feels so much better.. I said looking at him while he touched my cheek.

I gave you the burden to keep me happy. That’s not right. That’s what I have to do. I was so wrong in so many ways.. I learned so much. And all I know is that I love this feeling. I love you. I love this present. I don’t care what will happen next. All I know is that I wanna be here. I wanna be with you. In this present. I said looking down..fidgeting with my hands.

You think you would be able to like me again ? I asked with a nervous feeling..

I already like you. He said looking at me.

You do ? I said while looking back at him.

Yea… He said..

I could feel his hands on my waist tightening. His other hand cupping my cheek and pulling me closer. We were inch’s away…and he kissed me softly. While I shivered at his kiss and let him love me like he wants.

I knew I loved him.. But this time I wanna enjoy the present.

Lose the burden

Capture

So that’s it ? – he said

Yup. That’s it. It’s over. Done and dusted. – I said

But you loved him dude. I knew it. I could tell. – He said

I don’t love anyone. Love is a just stupid thing people do on valentines day. I never loved anyone – I said with a straight face.

You can’t lie to me… – he said

Really I am Not! Okay fine ? I did. But I don’t anymore or never will I – I said with teary eyes.

Hey.. look at me. Look at me. – he said firmly. I looked down further, definitely not looking at him with my teary eyes. No one looks at me like that. But I did at last.

You love him. It’s okay to tell that. It’s okay to say that yes I do love him but I am gonna be okay. You don’t have to keep it together all the time. It’s okay to cry, It’s okay to feel. Don’t lose hope. Don’t lose faith on love. Feel. That’s what makes us human right ? hey… come here. He grabbed me by my shoulder and hugged me tight. My tears rolled down on his jacket. After awhile, I wiped it off and moved away.

I’m okay. – I said while wiping my eyes. Looking clearly. Blinking twice.

I know. You are strong. But I love you. You know that right ? – he said while keeping his arm on my shoulder.

I do – I said with a smile.

We walked for a while. What are you thinking ? – he asked

I’m thinking that why do we give the responsibility of keeping us happy to the people we are in relationship with? That is not their responsibility. It is ours. We have to be happy whether they are in our lives or not. Yes. We can bring our happiness together and be more happy. But we mostly give that burden to the other person. No matter how hard they try they will never be able to make us happy. Because we aren’t happy. This is a common mistake we do. I guess.. We lose our identity – what we like and what we don’t like etc. etc. We are no longer ourselves but someone who is always pleasing the person and the relationship. Worrying and stressing on pleasing and keeping them happy. That’s just not your job. We lose so much of what makes us that we lose ourselves. That’s what I did. Now I don’t recognize myself. Need to learn all over again.  – I said in one breath.

Girl… You just cracked the code. – he said with his big eyes and a surprise look.

I smiled. I love you I said looking at him.

I love you more buddy – he said with a smile.